Maliha is 16 years old: “Home is not a home for me. When I was conceived my father wanted to abort me, but my mother decided to give me a birth so I was born. After my birth, she did care for me but she left me in the village with her sister because my father never liked me and never loved me. When I was 10 years old I came back to Kathmandu and I was staying with my parents.” There are 5 family members in my family.
Staying with my parents was a happy and precious moment for me. “I was a happy, outgoing child. I loved to laugh, play, sing and dance as well. I want to feel loved by my father too. Later it was remarkable for my whole life. I was not safe in my own family. I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse.” More specifically and brutally, I was attempt rape by my father several times a week from the age of 13 until I was 16. I still remember all those days that happened to me. I feel insecure whenever he stays at home. He was a drunkard and used to come home sometimes; he grabbed my hand and made me touch him, sometimes sat down near my bed and used to touch me. I can feel it as a bad touch, sometimes he unzipped his pants, undressed his clothes and come in front of me. It was a punishment for me.
“I shared my stories to my mother and family members. When this incident occurred I was on trauma and thought that I would not able to attend my SEE examination. But I attended the exam and I scored good marks. I was taught by my family members not to complain about it and to keep my mouth shut. Family members, relatives who knew what was happening; nobody was there to help me. I was forcefully silenced. My family members thought to marry me away to settle things, but everyone was trying to save my father. It was not a solution to marry and to run away from this situation. So with the help of my mother, I filed a case against him and he was jailed for a couple of years. When I filed the case against him, all the family members were against us.” Nobody talks to us. My elder sister is studying law and she contacted many people, and now my father is back home.
I don’t feel safe and my mother feels it too. I want to live my life, I want to get love but when he is back I remember all those days and it hurts me a lot. Now I am at Safe and I am happy to be here. I feel secure. I am excited to join my college [upper-level high school] soon.